


More

by Basic_Spirit



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Humiliation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 12:28:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7934587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basic_Spirit/pseuds/Basic_Spirit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After high school, Waylon is sure he's seen the last of Jeremy Blaire. </p><p>He's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this almost two years ago now, so bear with me.

I think too much.

Ask anyone who knows me, I'm sure they'll tell you it's true. As I sat in my dorm accross from Miles, I realized this fact wholeheartedly.

But let me go back a few paces.

I'm Waylon Park. Computer nerd with zero social skills. Miles and I were in our apartment celebrating my 18th birthday. It wasn't really much of a celebration, just the two of us sitting around, talking while we made our way through a few beers he'd smuggled in. This wasn't an uncommon scene. Miles was my best (and possibly only) friend, and we always spent a lot of time together. He was witty and sarcastic, and overall fun to be around. I, on the other hand, was a walking block of cement. Hence his personality improving mine.

"So," he took a swig from his beer. "How does it feel being 18 at last?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not very different, to be honest."

"Don't you wanna go out and vote or something?" he joked. "I heard Blaire's running for president next term!"

"God," I pressed the ball of my hand into my forehead at the mention of our former classmate. "Don't even joke about that. I swear, if I ever see his face in a promotional campaign I will literally vomit."

"Don't worry, I'll vote against him," Miles elbowed me with another laugh before sitting back. "What else is there... do you feel like a man now? Are you just magically going to sprout facial hair and fill out?"

"Ha ha," I deadpanned him. "I think we both know by now that's not going to happen."

We'd met four years ago; I'd switched from an all-male private school to the public school system for high school, and I hadn't known anyone. He picked me out and I'd taken to following him around. As I mentioned before, he was a good person to have as a friend. In the years, I'd seen him transform from lanky teen to grown-ass man. He never really had that awkward phase; even as a 14-year-old, his features were strong and his hair was expertly coiffed. I, filling out the opposite end of the spectrum, was stuck eternally in the awkward phase. Always short and slim for my age, I could never measure up to the other boys. My baby face, glasses and curly blonde locks didn't help much either. No wonder I'm a social outcast.

Miles paused, looking down at his beer. The TV played quietly in the background, just to drown out the silence. "...you still hung up on Lisa?"

I groaned and grabbed a pillow, covering my mouth to muffle my sounds of discomfort. This was enough answer for the amateur journalist. I looked up at him pitifully, "It's been four years. Like, what is this?"

He laughed, running his fingers through his hair. Always the hair. "If I were more of a romantic I would say it's true love," he looked down at me. "But seriously, how can you be so hung up on one girl?"

"I don't know?!" I grabbed the pillow harder, blushing. The girl in question, Lisa, _Lisa_ _Harrington_ , was a pretty brunette with a star personality that I'd had a relentless crush on since freshman year. I'd barely ever gotten to know her; we rarely talked more than a 'hi' in the halls, but I just couldn't get that girl off my mind.

It was _stupid_.

I shifted away from the touchy subject, "I guess then we already know my love life's gonna be fucking zero again this year. But what about you? Any hot new guys on the dating front?" I tried my best to look teasing.

Miles leaned back, crossing his legs. "Hmm, well, I do have one in mind," he smirked.

I gently pushed him. "Aww, that sweet." Miles was definitely more of a slut than I was (I'm pretty sure he lost his virginity before I had my first kiss) but he'd been single since high school ended. Throughout the time I'd known him, he'd had a few short-term relationships, and plenty of one-night stands. He always said he wasn't good enough at emotions and feelings to have a long-lasting relationship. The last boy on the front had been Billy Hope, his on-again-off-again boyfriend of almost two years. They used to be inseparable (believe me, I'd served as a third wheel on many of their dates) but halfway through senior year, they'd mysteriously broken up. No one (especially not me) knew why.

Anyway, what was I saying? It was good to see him putting himself out there.

"Tell me more," I leaned in a bit. I made such a big deal of Miles being gay. He was cool with it, though. He made a big deal of me being straight. "What's he like? And will you tell me who he is?"

Miles paused, scratching the thin layer of stubble on his cheek. "He's... he's very cute. When I see him in the halls between classes, it makes me smile. And he's got an ass that won't quit. Seriously, I jack off to the though of ramming that thing..." he covered his face, blushing lightly and coughing into the sleeve of his leather jacket. "Sorry."

I grinned. It was a rare moment I got to see Miles embarrassed, I wanted to savor it. "But you won't tell me who it is?"

He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it and shook his head. He laughed and looked down. "I won't tell you," he said after a moment. "But maybe... I can show you."

We walked over to the window where we could see down to the campus below. Students milled around. I searched the crowd, wondering who it could be. "He's right..." Miles lifted a hand to the glass before deciding, "Here."

In a quick movement, he grabbed my cheek with his hand and pulled my head in to kiss me. As our lips touched, my heart thumped. I was panicking, I didn't know what to _do_! His mouth was soft, moving on mine, lips pressing against my skin. He pulled me in closer, trying to deepen the kiss, but I slid out of his grip. I stared at him as he split apart, my chest heaving. Before I could think, I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and took a step back. His eyes searched mine. "Way..."

I turned and ran. Straight to my room, lock the door behind me. It took my a second to process what had happened. Miles had kissed me. Miles fucking Upshur, the guy who would make sex noises in church, had kissed me. Not to mention admitted to having a crush on me moment before. He said... he told me he fapped to the though of fucking me up the ass. I felt like I was going to be sick, the information overload was too much.

I noticed the slight tent in the front of my pants.

_No..._

I thought. I thought about all that time I'd liked Lisa. I wondered now, was it even like? But what else could it have been? And was I gay? Or bi, or something? I thought about the kiss, recalling the way Miles had tasted, like the cheap beer he'd been drinking. His cheeks smelled like the shaving cream next to the sink. He'd let out a soft 'mmm' as he kissed me, pushing in. His lips fitted onto mine, soft and wet...

Fuck, I needed to stop thinking.

I pressed down on my groin, frowning. Was I afraid to be gay? Was that it? I kept thinking about Miles, feeling sicker now as I recalled the despair in his eyes when I'd pushed him back. I'd cleaned off my mouth right in front of him, for Christ's sake... I felt like I was having a panic attack at how it must've been for him... I was a terrible friend. I wouldn't even let him kiss me.

He knocked on the door before resting his forehead on the wood. "Way... I'm sorry, I-I fucked up. I thought you'd - never mind what I thought, I'm sorry. I understand if you never want to see me again."

I opened my mouth, trying to think of something to say. Before I could muster the courage to speak, I heard the keys jingle and the front door slam shut. I sat on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands. All I could think about was Miles... I was getting to the point where I was half-convinced I felt something for him. Or was I just fooling myself to spare his feelings?

After a little while, I came out of my room and bee-lined for the fridge. I ached for some ice cream, and it was my birthday.

Over the next few days, you could tell Miles was trying to get things back to normal. It wasn't that easy. We used to be able to curl up shirtless on top of each other on the couch and watch a movie; now we could barely be in the same room. During the day he always put on a brave face, avoided he subject, tried to be his regular sarcastic self, but I just _couldn't_ see him the way I saw him before.

At night, I heard him cry.

I'd been having trouble falling asleep myself, but he must've thought I'd dozed off a while ago. He sobbed softly into his pillow for the better portion of an hour, and I lay there with my back to him, feeling like the scum of the earth. He was such a strong spirit, the thought of me reducing him to crying himself to sleep absolutely broke my heart.

The next day, he had a fever and couldn't get out of bed. I made him a small breakfast and brought it back to our room where he still was half asleep. "Thanks, Way..." he breathed, wiping his mouth and nose with his sleeve.

He looked like a man who had given up. Red eyes, patchy beard and greasy hair in need of a wash. This wasn't Miles. I sighed, my chest aching. "Hang in there, bud..." There was a short pause before I leaned down and pecked the top of his forehead, easing him out of his fitful sleep and into a more peaceful one.

I got dressed and went out to buy some things; groceries and new equipment I wanted for the project I was working on. It was a little chilly for October, but still a pretty nice day.

Well, it was.

"Mr. Park."

I nearly tripped over my own feet as the one and only Jeremy Blaire ducked out of an alleyway in front of me. "Um... h-hello..." my voice was small. As I started to back away, I was stopped by a wall of meat and leapt forward, glancing back at Blaire's goons that blocked my path.

Shit.

"Ah, Mr. Waylon Park," he crossed his hands behind his back and strutted towards me. "How has life outside of high school treated you?"

"Fine," I spoke in a measured tone, locking my eyes on the sleaze bag that had pushed me around for too many years.

"Good, good..." he walked next to me and put a hand on my shoulder, guiding me into the alleyway. I couldn't really do anything to get away, he had three huge guys boxing me in. "Now, I'm sure you remember those tasks you helped me with in high school."

I cringed. Always shady stuff, debugging his laptop, designing state of the art software to keep his files safe... Miles had always pushed me to try to do some digging, to grab some of the files, just so I'd have proof of what he was up to. He'd been using me since my sophomore year, and in the last week before I graduated, I left a bug on his system that would allow me to gain easy access to his documents at a moments notice.

I was moving to a different town for university.

I thought I'd never have to deal with him again.

"I must say, it was..." he chuckled. "Stupid of you, really, to think you could just leak these things to your little journalist friend. To think that just since school was over, you were free from me." He leaned closer. "I own you, Park. And don't think that I will hesitate to use my powers to make life for you and everyone you care about shit in one second flat." I gulped, my breathing getting heavier. I'd forgotten how much leverage he'd had on me...

He maneuvered in front of me again. "Now, keeping that in mind, I have another task for you." He paused, waiting for me to say something. I didn't speak at first, weighing my options. Apparently I was taking too long, because his followers grabbed me and forced me to my knees. He stepped closer to me, reaching for his belt. Realization of what was happening dawned on me, and I tried to stand up, to get away. His cronies kept firm hands on my shoulders, keeping me from moving in the slightest. In one sudden movement, he shoved his dick in my face. "Suck it."

My eyes watered and I gagged at the thought, but I didn't have much of a choice. In fact, almost no choice, considering he grabbed a handful of my hair and forced me onto him. Tears spilled over now, rolling down my cheeks as it filled my mouth and he patted my head. "Good boy, Park."

.::.

I lay in the alley crying for a while after he left. It had started to rain, and I was shaking now. I couldn't believe I had been manipulated to the point of him forcing me to suck him off on the side of the road. I'd wiped my face time and time again, but I could get the feel of his cum on my skin out of my mind. He'd marked me as his, reminded my that I couldn't do anything to protect myself from him.

My life was over.

Eventually I picked myself up and started to wander back to the apartment. I'd never ended up getting the groceries; I didn't care. I stumbled up to the dorm, opening the door and stepping in. I was in a haze, keeping myself from thinking.

Miles was up now. He'd showered and was dressed in sweats, lying on the couch and watching TV. "Hey, Way," he called as I got in, closing and locking the door behind me. I stared at the door in silence before kicking off my shoes and trudging into the kitchen. I needed to take a shower. I needed to take a shower and forget.

Miles noticed that something was off. "Hey... are you alright? You don't look too good..."

I avoided his gaze. "I-it's nothing," I kept my voice low. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"It's two in the afternoon," he stated, swinging his legs over to stand up.

"I'm not feeling well," I pushed his hand away as he reached out to me.

My roommate withdrew his hand to his chest. "Y... you can tell me what's wrong," he said. "Hell, I'm an open book nowadays. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. But just..." he exhaled and turned away, shaking his head. "Go to bed. If that's what you want, go to bed."

I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I closed my mouth and swallowed, heading to the bathroom. The first thing I did was viciously brush my teeth, trying to get the taste of Blaire out of my mouth. As I cleaned out my mouth, realization struck me. Jeremy Blaire had _came_ in my mouth. His sperm were swimming around in my stomach. I felt dizzy, I had to grab the sink to steady myself. The feel of the hot liquid splashing down my throat made me sick. He was _inside_ of me.

Jesus Christ, no...

I knelt next to the toilet bowl. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just left it like this. Hesitantly, I opened my mouth, reaching in with two fingers. I touched the back of my own throat lightly and my back convulsed. The one gag is all I needed to get going, the thoughts of what he'd done to me made me sick enough. When my lunch came up, I was satisfied. It felt like this was right. He didn't deserve to leave something in me. I continued to vomit, tears rolling down my face again but a fierce determination in my eyes.

All of a sudden, I heard Miles knock on the door. "Waylon... are you okay in there?"

I wiped my mouth, "I'm fine, leave me alone!"

Miles ignored what I'd said and twisted the knob, throwing open the door. He covered his mouth, "What the fuck, Waylon? What are you - _augh_!"

I sobbed harder, scooting back into the corner and drawing my knees to my chest. "Mi- _iles_..." I could barely see, the tears were coming harder than they had before now.

"Way..." his voice lowered. "Why would you... why would you do that?"

"I-it's not because of the way I look, it-it's because - " I dissolved into sobs.

I couldn't tell Miles what he'd done. I _couldn't._

The journalist walked into the bathroom, crouching beside me. His brown eyes shone in the flourescent light.  "I... I just want you be okay..." he whispered.

I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder, crying into his sleeve. "Fuck..." I muttered. "Fucking fuck _fuck_..."

Miles chuckled a little, rubbing my back. "I'm so sorry, Way..." He had nothing to be sorry for. He hasn't done anything. I was just pitiful. He was sorry for me.

Somehow, he managed to pick me up and half-carried me into the front room where I sobbed into him on the couch for a while. He was there for me, despite all the nasty business of his feelings for me... regardless, he was the best friend I had, and I wouldn't trade him for anyone.

Eventually, I calmed down enough to manage, "Jeremy Blaire."

Miles snorted. "Lousy pig-rat. He makes me sick too."

I chuckled a little, wiping my eyes and meeting his. "I-I saw him today... that's what this is about."

Seriousness cleared Miles' gaze. "Does he know about what you did last year?" I nodded, drawing my lips tight. "And he wasn't happy about it?" I nodded again.

Miles cupped my face in his hands. "Way... what did he do?"

I gritted my teeth, focusing my eyes on the wall in front of me and begging myself not to cry. "He... put his cock in my mouth..."

Miles froze, jaw slightly slackened. "Waylon..." the word slipped from his lips.

"... and he came down my throat..." It was no use trying not to cry now, I was shaking with the sobs. "Th-that's why I was throwing up... to get his... fucking cum out of my stomach..."

"Holy fucking shit..." Miles leaned back, closing his eyes. "Waylon... fuck, this is my fault. I made you hack his system, you shouldn't... fuck, I'm sorry..." He leaned in again and hugged me tighter than before, crushing his face into my shoulder as he shook a little. "It should've been me lying there instead of you..."

I sobbed harder at the memory. Blaire stupid smirk, the whole time keeping my hair clasped in his fingers so I didn't even have a chance to pull back to breathe... "I fucking hate him so much..." I whispered into Miles' shirt.

We sat there and cried (well, like, 80% of the crying was me) for a good long while, and only after I was out of tears did I pull back to look at Miles. Through all this shit, he still stood by me. "Thank you so much for being here..." I whispered into his neck.

"I'm so sorry..." he pressed the words into the crown of my head.

I slowly leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "It's not your fault..."

Miles looked surprised at my sudden affection, brown eyes growing wide. I nuzzled his neck, and hesitantly he pecked the top of my head. "I won't let him hurt you again..."

My heart warmed at these words and I straightened up so I could full-on kiss his mouth. I didn't care about how I felt for Lisa, I didn't care about 'being gay.' All I knew was that Miles was with me here now and I loved him with all my heart.

This kiss was sloppy (I didn't have much experience) but it was filled with so much emotion it made up for it. Miles stood by in shock for a second before engaging me, moving our mouths together, taking the lead. I melted into his touch, pressing my lips in harder. He pressed his tongue to my teeth and I parted them a little more, letting him in. The feeling of his tongue on mine sent blood to my core.

He shifted a little so I was at a better angle. I'd been kind of sitting on his lap before and now he spun me so I kind of straddled his hips. I don't think it was supposed to be sexual (our crotches were closer than I would've preferred) but it just made it easier to kiss. He lost his fingers in my hair and I rubbed his scruffy jaw with my thumbs.

After kissing for what felt like forever, he withdrew for a second. "Waylon... are you sure this is what you want?"

"Miles, you're there for me in my darkest hour," I admitted. "You're like a light in a world of darkness. If this isn't love, I don't know what is."

He half lidded his eyes and cocked his eyebrows. "You're a sap if there ever was one."

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed him back onto the couch, kissing him again with giddy delight. Today had been just an emotional roller coaster and I was dreading the crash, but for now, I just focused on Miles.

That day we didn't make it past making out. I didn't mind, I didn't want to take things too fast. God, there was something about Miles that made me feel safe. Later that night, Miles and I squeezed into his twin bed and cuddled together. zI still couldn't deny the fact that Blaire made me sick, but now Miles was pent on exposing what he'd done. For someone who was so dark and sarcastic, he made a great boyfriend.

That word made me giddy. To think of Miles and myself dating before had been preposterous, but now it was a near reality. For a few days, we just shared secret kisses in out apartment when we were feeling weak, but I decided I wanted to make it official. I'd fallen for Miles faster than I knew possible.

It was a couple days after the fact that I'd had the first nightmare.

It was so vivid, Blaire's lackeys holding me in place. I could feel their hands snaked around my arms, hard enough to bruise. And Jeremy Blaire himself, loosening his slacks and whipping out his cock, making me acknowledge what I was doing, making me work for it. Telling me I was sloppy, talking me to try harder. And then digging his own foot into my crotch, the toe of his shoe mangling my own sick arousal. He degraded me for crying, petting my face and telling me to take it like a man. He came over my lips and teary face, and I could feel the hot liquid streaming down my front. I was forced to my feet and he grabbed my groin forcefully, shaming me, making me tell him I liked it. He made me come.

I woke up then with a shriek and tears rolling down my face. I repeat, it was so real. I could still feel the effects of the dream, clinging to me like cobwebs. It was an insult to injury that I woke up hard, too.

I sobbed, burying my face in my pillow and trying to calm myself. Miles shifted next to me, grunting. "... Way? You alright?"

I shook my head into the pillow, wrapping my arms forcefully around it. The journalist managed to shift me into his arms, and I curled into his chest, my tears wetting his skin. He rested his chin on top of my head, just lying in silence and rubbing my back.

After I'd calmed down and returned fully to the waking world, I decided that Miles deserved some kind of explanation. I mean, I was sobbing into his chest my hard dick jutting into his stomach. "Fuck Jeremy Blaire..." I mumbled, my voice muffled by Miles' skin.

He laughed dryly. "That's the plan." I gave him a look and he shrugged, "Too soon?"

I sighed with a shudder. "That's just the last thing I want to be thinking about."

"I'm sorry..." he kissed the top of my head. "I saw the opportunity and I couldn't turn it down. Do you... want to talk about it?"

I exhaled again. "I dreamt he made me suck his dick again. And I... I liked it... Jesus, Miles, he's fucking up my mind."

"Hey," he stroked my cheek. "Don't you remember? I'm going to keep you safe. And if he ever tries to lay a finger on you again, I'll drop kick that bastard, okay? All the way to the moon."

Although Miles was joking, I found comfort in his words. I nuzzled his chest and hugged him a little tighter. I just wanted to get back to sleep; my eyes were getting heavy again. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. "Miles... I love you..."

"Sure, bud," he pressed a lasting kiss to my forehead. "Love you too."

I didn't dream anymore that night.


	2. ii

Miles continued to be my soul protector for the next few weeks. I was scared to be alone, and whenever he had work or class, I'd stay locked in the apartment or have to call someone else to be with. I was a wreck, I continued to nightmare about Jeremy Blaire fucking me. Every dream left me kind of erotic, and I hated it.

What I hated even more was what it was doing to Miles.

After one particularly long day (I'd had a surprise math test and he'd been up late the night before to finish an essay) I started coming on to him. Nothing crazy, we'd been watching TV and I'd been gently rubbing his knee. I wasn't usually the instigator, but I think he liked it. Slowly, I moved my fingers up to his thy, pressing at his jeans. He smirked at me and pulled me in for a kiss.

We made out, flurries of passion pushing me on. Miles knew what he was doing, he knew how I liked it when he rubbed my cheek. My hands wandered down, pressing against his chest. I wanted him now. I didn't want to wait.

I messily reached down and tugged at the bottom of his shirt, trying to pull it up over his head. He pulled back and I took the opportunity to slip the garment off him. I'd seen him shirtless before, but never like this. I moved down and kissed his neck, his collarbone.

"Waylon..." he muttered as I latched onto his chest. I gave a little moan and rubbed my hands on his abs. I moved my hands down onto his waistband, and pulled.

"Waylon," he spoke with more conviction now, putting his hands on my shoulders. He cupped my face once I'd pulled back. "Way, are you sure this is what you want?"

I nodded. "Yes, Miles, more than anything..."

"I... I don't want you to... regret," he looked away from me. "You don't know how much I've wanted this. But once I start... I don't know if I'll be able to stop."

"Neither will I," I captured his mouth in another kiss. My raging hard on was straining against my jeans. I wanted him. I wanted him now.

Miles realized he wouldn't be able to convince me and joined in, taking off my shirt and flipping our positions, tangling our legs and pinning me down on the couch. He feathered kisses down my front, getting nearer and nearer to my groin. I grabbed his hair and couldn't help my hips from bucking up towards him. He looked up at me with a smirk and undid the button of my jeans, going down and taking the zipper of my fly in his teeth.

I arched my back, hot air from his nose blowing against my aching crotch. He tugged my pants down suddenly and rubbed circles over my protruding hip bones. God, I was so thin. My boxers did nothing to hide the obvious tent, which he nuzzled lovingly. My lower stomach was tightening already.

I was so caught up in the heat of the moment, I let out a squeak when he removed my underwear. Suddenly, just like that, I was nude in front of my lover and my best friend. He'd never seen me before, and inspected for a moment before glancing up at me and stating, "I thought you'd be blonde."

I flushed even more with embarrassment. "Miles!"

He reached up and rubbed his thumb over my tip and down my length. I ground my teeth together, my inner thighs clenching. His fingers were so gentle, so skilled.

As he descended, mouth open, something in me snapped. I screamed a, "No!" and rolled off the couch, hitting his head with my knee and landing painfully on my back. I slid back, shoulders shaking with sudden sobs and horrors flashing behind my eyes. Jeremy Blaire. His sickening presence forcing his cock into my unwilling mouth. I turning and heaved dryly, covering my mouth to keep my lunch from coming up. I pulled up my pants and slid back across the floor, tears of internal pain streaming down my cheeks.

The expression on Miles' face just about broke my heart. "Way... I-I'm..." He got up and reached towards me; when he touched my arm, I recoiled and sobbed harder. "Waylon, it's me, Miles... it's okay, I..." He pressed his fist into his forehead and stood up, turning away. He ran to our room and locked himself in, and I could hear him punch the wall.

I felt terrible. I'd wanted this so bad, but I hadn't been able to handle it. Miles brought back too-vivid memories of what Blaire had done to me, and I hated it. It's like Jeremy had ruined me forever. And Miles was the one suffering.

A short while later, I forced myself to my feet. My painful erection was still crying for attention, but I was scared. I redressed and went to go knock on the bedroom door.

"M... Miles?" I leaned on the doorframe. "I'm sorry. I... I'm just so fucked up... I shouldn't have--I just..." I put my head down. "I'm sorry."

He opened the door, still shirtless, still flushed with arousal. "Way, I just... don't want to hurt you. If you're not ready, can ya... can ya tell me before the heat of the moment?"

I fell into his embrace, pressing my nose into the center of his chest. "I need help..."

He hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head time and time again. Thank god he was so willing to contort himself for me. I didn't want Jeremy Blaire to keep me from being happy, but he'd succeeded entirely in that.

Every time I tried to get physical with Miles, I would wimp out. I hated it, because I was getting pretty goddamn horny. Still, no matter how much we both wanted it, every time I'd feel Miles' fingers on my crotch, I'd relapse into horror. It was terrible.

Well, compared to what happens next, it's not that bad at all.

•••

Miles and I were out one day to pick out some new clothes. It was getting to be winter and I needed some warmer sweaters, and I was still too shattered to be out on my own.

We didn't make it very far.

"Way..." Miles leaned closer and whispered to me. "I think that guy's following us. Don't look, but just... be ready to bolt if we need."

Sure enough, I noticed some brute tailing us through the crowd. I frowned and stepped a little closer to Miles. Although he was no fighter, he was all I had.

"Here," Miles breathed, making a quick turn onto a side street. We picked up the pace a little.

My body froze as I heard that sickening voice.

"Mr Park."

"Waylon, RUN," Miles' hand on my wrist tightened as he pulled me backwards, and my legs struggled to move. He tried to drag me along, but the both of us were cornered by a wall of goons. "Fuck-!" Miles tried to escape but we were cornered, and Jeremy Blaire himself strutted between the henchmen.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" the sleazy businessman spoke lightly. "Why, if it isn't our old friend Waylon Park and his..." he snorted air through his nose, "Accomplice."

Miles dropped my hand only for a second to pull back his own fist and strike Blaire in the side of the face, fingernails bared. "Why don't you go FUCK yourself?" Miles spat.

The lackeys grabbed him and pulled him away from me before he could do anything else. Jeremy Blaire's fake smile was gone, replaced by an expression of magnitudes I did not want to see. "You're going to regret that, Upshur," he snarled. "And I think your little boyfriend will be the one doing the fucking."

I let out a whine as two strong men grabbed me forcefully and pulled me into the building behind me. Miles, being smarter and cooler in these kind of situations, yelled, "RAPE!" as loudly as he could until the goons covered his mouth. I was dragged unwillingly into a cold and empty room where my hands were bound above my head then tied to a cold radiator. I was sobbing uncontrollably and they slapped a piece of duct tape over my mouth.

All I could do was watch and writhe and it took three men to tie Miles down. He took a good few punches but never once stopped his struggling. They put him on a chair and fastened down all his limbs so he couldn't move.

"Alright," Blaire waved off his henchmen, and once they were gone, locked the only door to the room. "Now, gentlemen, it seems we have a little... business to attend to. It seems someone has been digging where they shouldn't have been, eh, Miles?"

"You listen here, you fucking douchebag," Miles' mouth was still uncovered. "I've got a laptop filled with evidence against you. Perfect records of what you did to Waylon. You're going to prison, regardless of what happens today."

"Hmm." Blaire smugly shrugged. "Well; I'll see what my lawyers can do about that. But, if this is the end, I guess I'll have to go out with a bang," he enunciated the last word especially, "right, Waylon?"

I struggled more as he reached for his beltstrap. "Don't you fucking lay a finger on him, you fucking sicko!" Miles strained against his confines and I could see the ropes cutting into his skin.

"Shut up, Upshur. You were hardly amusing when you were useful." Jeremy picked up the duct tape and slapped a piece over Miles' mouth.

The corporate executive sauntered towards me, his belt coming off. "You listen here, Park." He spoke softly and harshly. "I'm going to fuck you, and you're going to beg for it. Understand?"

I sobbed harder, drawing my knees into my chest and looking away. He dragged a hand down my face and grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look at him. "Understand?!"

I nodded through the tears, not wanting to make things worse. Without any warning, he savagely ripped off my pants and underwear, and I curled in on myself even harder. He leaned very close to my ear. "Don't worry, Park. You're going to fucking love this."

I closed my eyes and cringed as he took off his own pants and reached down to spread my legs. Miles was screaming from behind, shaking his chair. I just wanted it to be over.

Blaire ripped the strip of tape off my mouth and smirked as I let out a pain gasp. He straightened up, jutting his hips out towards me. "Come on, Park, I don't have all day."

I slowly let my mouth fall open, eyes lidded in shame. He stepped closer and invaded my mouth, just with the head. "I'm waiting," he singsonged.

I felt so dirty, so covered in sin as I licked and sucked at his head, running my tongue over his growing arousal. I leaned forward, trying to take more in, and he moved his hips closer again. It was really a choking experience, the feeling of him filling my mouth. I gagged as his cock brushed the back of my throat but forced myself to keep it down.

He let out a grown of approval as I tried my best to suck. He nudged in between my legs with the toe of his shoe. I let out a more forceful sob as my own manhood became flush with arousal.

"You like that, don't you?" he pulled out of my mouth and knelt down so we were eye to eye. He grabbed my half-hard cock in his hand and gave a squeeze. I could help but arch into his touch. "Tell me how much you love this, Park."

"I-I..." I stuttered, cheeks stained with tears. "I love it... t-touch me there... o-ohh..."

He patted my cheek. "Good man."

Now, he maneuvered my body so my thighs were splayed open. His dick was still wet with my saliva, but when I felt the tip press at my opening, I let out another sob.

He gave me a good tug, telling me, "Beg for it. Beg for me."

"I-" I was so far past shame by now. It was already the worst moment of my life, and it was only getting worse by the second. "I want you t-to--AUGH, fuck me... fuck me J-Jer..."

He plowed into me with no consideration. I felt him spread my ass cheeks and enter forcefully, the pain enough to make me cry out. He slid me down onto his lap, my ass taking more and more of his cock. I was crying, I was sure I was bleeding.

"You're so tight..." he muttered, grunting. "...thought Miles would've loosened you up by now-"

"Stop," I interrupted. I felt the worst that Miles had to watch this. He'd been struggling the whole time, and I knew how much it killed him to see me like this. "Just f-fucking do it."

He traveled deeper, and I bent into his touch. My own dick pressed into his stomach, but he neglected it entirely. I couldn't help a mewl slipping from my lips as he brushed against the bundle of nerves deep inside me. "Yes..." he growls, hitting it again.

I can't stop myself from rolling my hips onto his, dying for that pleasure. He grabs my hair and jerks my head so I look him in the face. "I know how much you fucking want this, Park..."

He reached down and grabbed my manhood with conviction. I strained my hands against the bounds, biting my lip and trying not to feel the pleasure. "Hey. Look at me," he grabbed my cheek. "I want you to look at me when you cum."

I cried harder as he reached down and tugged on my dick. "Now, Park, now," he ordered, giving a squeeze. My shoulders shook with silent sobs as I came onto his belly, body flushed with guilt. He pushed into my prostrate one last time and I moaned loudest of all, then he unloaded his sperm into my backside.

He pulled out and smacked the side of my face. "Hope that teaches you a lesson," he muttered, picking up his pants and sauntering away.

I felt filthy. My lips were swollen, my ass was bleeding, shoulders throbbing from being twisted above my head, a cold layer of post-coital sweat sticking to my skin. He'd cut my hands loose, but I just remained lying in the fetal position on the ground. I was terrified to move, terrified that he'd come back for more. And most terrified to see what condition Miles was in.

After what felt like a long time, I picked myself up and put on my pants. I tentatively looked over at Miles, who was slumped in his chair with glassy eyes. I spoke slowly, "M-Miles? A-are you alright?"

He made no acknowledgment that I had spoken, just kept staring ahead with that dead look in his eyes. I crawled across the floor, limping, aching all over but desperate to get to Miles' side. I touched his face, slowly pulling the duct tape off his mouth. "Miles?" My voice was tiny, barely a whisper.

Tears were dried on his cheeks, hair mussed, a bruise beginning to form on the left side of his face. He blinked slowly, stuttering, "W-W... Way?"

"Oh my god, Miles..." I hugged him and pressed my head into his chest, shaking with sobs again. "Oh my god, oh my god..." I grabbed his face and kissed him, beginning to cry again. I then went to work on his bounds, untying his hands and then moving to his legs. He still said nothing, just slowly unchained himself from the chair. Once he was entirely free, I fell into his embrace. It was good to feel his strong arms press me into his chest, even if he was sobbing.

"Fuck, Waylon..." he whispered against me as we hugged. "I-I..."

"I'm sorry..." I cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry that y-you... that you had to see it... y-you deserve a b-better life..."

"Waylon, it's _not_ okay," he choked. "It's not. I'm not important right now. You're the one who's important. He... he fucking _raped_ you, Way... that-that's..." He sobbed harder than I'd ever heard, which only brought me more horror. It still hadn't really hit me yet, but Miles' level of panic raised my own.

We stumbled home quickly, before he could come back for more. Miles kind of had to drag me along; my legs were still weak. When we finally made it to our apartment, he put the deadbolt lock on the door and I collapsed onto the couch. Miles sat down next to me, putting his hands on his knees and staring straight ahead of him. I was hugging myself now, trying to repress the memories. I was a little surprised when Miles spoke next.

"I was wrong," was the first thing he said. Then, "I promise that Jeremy Blaire will fucking rot in prison for the rest of his life. I'll never let him lay a finger on you again, Waylon. I... I'm sorry, I should've done something about this before it got this bad. I shoulda protected you... I-I'm sorry..."

"No, I'm sorry..." I whispered. "I'm sorry that he's ruined me for ever. I-I want to be yours, I want _you,_ Miles, but... he just fucked me up so much..."

"Dont apologize," Miles comanded. "If this is anyone's fault, it was mine." I looked up at him in a silent awe and then rested my head down in his lap, crying into the leg of his jeans. He ran his fingers through my hair.

After a little while, he spoke again. "You never found out why I broke up with Billy, did you?" I shook my head silently, eyes still shut. He sighed. "When we were in high school, I... I used to think Blaire was... fucking hot..." He groaned and leaned back, running a hand through his hair. "Goddammit, he still is, but... back then, he'd never really _done_ anything. None of this fucking Murkoff stuff, and I... I thought that I could steer him in the right direction."

He breathed out for a long time through his nose, looking off into the distance. "In twelfth grade, I let him fuck me. Billy found out, and he broke it off. Then, I kind of figured out I'd made the wrong decision, Jeremy started doing all that shady backalley shit... I left him, and started stealing his files. I wasn't going to let lust keep me from seeing what he was doing. But..." He seemed labored, "... that's why I never turned him in."

"When we left high school, I started to overlook the shit that he'd done. Then I fell for you, and... when he took advantage of you the first time, it terrified me." He looked down, taking a long breath. "He's not doing this shit to punish you, Way... he's doing it to punish _me_."

"Fuck," I enunciated, releasing the pent-up pressure in me. "M-Miles..."

"I don't want him to hurt you..." his voice dropped out to a whisper. "This is... all my fault. I never should've let myself love you in the first place. I... I deserve to be alone..."

"Miles..." I grabbed his face in mine. "Don't even say that. I don't blame you. You are the love of my life, a-and my best friend in the whole world. I... _we_ can make it through this."

Miles sighed. "Waylon, I... I love you too much." He pulled me in and kissed me hard on the mouth, the tears still wet on our cheeks mingling. I had so much love for him, but no way to express it... all I could do was squeeze my eyes shut and kiss him as hard as my puny frame could manage.

We crawled into bed very early that night (after I took a long shower. I had a fair amount of blood and semen all over me) and I didn't ever want to leave his arms again. The feeling of his hot breath on the back of my neck made me feel safe.

That night I didn't sleep a wink. I kept thinking about Blaire, my weak heart pounding every time. The feeling of his dick forced between my cheeks made me shudder and grab Miles' arms harder. His words, his hands on my jaw. _'I wanna see your face when you cum, Park.'_ I felt sick again and stumbled to the bathroom sometime in the wee hours of the morning, looking down at my own dick, remembering his hands tugging at it, my own seed spilling over his stomach.

I threw up.

After I brushed my teeth, I crawled back into bed. Some time around dawn I fell into a dreamless sleep and when I woke up, Miles was gone. I kept my cool, getting up and heading out to see him on his computer. He looked back at me and removed the USB stick with conviction, telling me, "We're going to the station."

Being outside terrified me. I made it through squeezing Miles' hand, sitting in his Jeep, preparing what I'd say. I told the cops about everything he'd made me do, the programming in high school, the abuse, the rape. I cried, but I got enough out. Miles had more documents we'd stolen regarding the Murkoff shit. There was no way he could get away with it.

A few days later, he was in custody.

"We did it, Way," Miles kissed the side of my head as he shut off the TV. "We'll never have to deal with that bastard again."

I kept my mouth small, managing a tight, "Good." I wasn't a very angry man, but Jeremy Blaire enraged me. Not only in the things he'd did to me (they were sick and wrong and painful in all their own ways) but the mind games he played with Miles. It was one thing fucking with me, but it was another story if you were going to fuck with my boyfriend.

I looked at Miles, just basking in his presence. His beautiful jawline, darkened with stubble, strong features that I'd watched take their full potential. I don't know how I'd ended up the object of his affections.

Also...

"Miles?"

He shifted, brown eyes meeting my hazels. "Yeah, Way?"

"... I need to ask you a question. But you don't have to answer."

"Shoot," he mussed my hair a little bit but stopped when the words left my lips.

"What did you see in Jeremy Blaire?"

I felt him physically stiffen below me. After a second, he coughed into his sleeve and spoke. "I will tell you, but remember I was, like, 17." He leaned back. "There was something about him. You already know that I like my boys bad," he met my gaze, "With the exception of you. But yeah, there was something kind of intriguing about him. I was happy with Billy, sure, but I was getting tired of him. Jer was this young well dressed guy with a lot of secrets. I started hanging around him, and pretty soon, we..." he swallowed, "Ended up in a broom closet between classes. I didn't know he was interested before, but he dropped my pants and took me against the wall."

I must've looked a little surprised; he clarified, "He knew I was into that stuff. And fuck it all, I enjoyed it. Our relationship revolved around the sex, and it was frequent. I wasn't surprised when Billy found out." He chuckled, face palming. "He actually walked in on us one time, behind the bleachers." With a sigh, his face returned to seriousness. "We were never really together. But the more time I spent with him, the more I began to realize what he was up to. They say love it blind, and I wouldn't have called that love, but... I put up with it. I did get those files though.

"When high school was over, I kind of took it that we were done. I knew we weren't going to last, we hadn't planned for that. I was gonna keep an eye out for him, hope he got better, and if he didn't, I had the evidence." All the humor from before was gone. "But he didn't get better. I was stupid to think I could change him, I see now he's so much worse than I ever could've imagined. The kind of things he did to you... what could drive a man to that?"

He leaned back, sighing. "So he had to go. And I can say with absolute certainty that I won't miss him."

I sat in silence for a moment, trying to sink it all in. He rubbed my hair and kissed my scalp, hugging me with one arm around my shoulders again. "But you think he did all this because of you?"

Miles shrugged. "That's my best guess. I mean, I can't think of any other reason he's single you out so much. I mean, you hacked his system and all, but I was behind that too."

"You think he's still hung up on you? Like," I snorted air through my nose, " _sad_ that you left him?"

"And fucking jealous of you?" Miles continued my thought before giving a weak laugh. "I dunno. Maybe. Like I said, there never were--or at least I never thought there were--feelings behind our relationship. But then again, I don't know. It doesn't really matter, we're never gonna see him again."

"Miles?" I changed the subject suddenly, eyes widening a bit. "I really wanna have sex with you."

He gave a half smile and ran his fingers through my curly blond locks. "Way, you're so cute."

"I'm serious," I pushed against him, a shy smile flickering onto my face as blush spread over my cheeks. "I know how much it means to you; I don't want to feel like a child next to you. And..." my voice dropped out. "Jeremy Blaire is trying to... spoil me for you. I don't want to let him win."

Miles took a moment to think over what I'd said. "Waylon... I'm sure you know how much I want this. And the last time we've tried... I-I'm just scared that if you start freaking out again, I won't be able to stop."

"I understand," I dipped my head. "And I didn't mean, like, now. Even thinking about it make me-" I shuddered, skipping ahead, "But sometime soon. I wanna show you how much a love you. But I want to make sure I'm ready. I won't stop you again."

"Hmm..." he rested his chin on my head. "We'll see, alright? don't rush things, you... you've been hurt bad, and I'm willing to give you time to heal. But, once you're ready..."

It was about a month after they put Jeremy Blaire away.

And it was _so good_...

Miles is great in bed, as I couldn't predicted. And for me, he took things slow. I cried a little when I was naked in front of him, but he always just fluttered kisses over my eyes and cheeks until the tears stopped. I wouldn't classify it as fucking, it was more like... love making. Sensual and slow, soft 'I _love_ you's in the ambient light. Miles gave me an expert blowjob, his tongue and lips gentle and slightly teasing now and then. He pulled me almost to the edge and then gave it to me in the ass. He was so good to me; every time I would start to drift back to those times, he'd kiss my shoulders and repeat, "It's just Miles, Way. I love you." He came in me and in the moments before my release, managed to recapture my dick in his mouth and catch all of my sperm. He swallowed it so willingly, looking up at me with love light in his eyes.

After our moment, we curled in bed together, sighing. He kissed my cheek. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," I exhaled, leaning into his touch.

He chuckled. "For what?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. Everything. For being my friend, for putting up with me in anything. For showing me that I'm gay. For helping me get through the hardest time in my life. And for loving me."

"You don't need to thank me," he kissed the nape of my neck. "For so long, I wanted to be... _more_ with you. And I think we're finally there."

 


End file.
